(Please read this: The contents below might have quite sensitive issues as it talks about human relationships. Be advised. I have tried to construct my blog post to be as fair as possible. Please be understanding, because this is what I have struggled upon. The contents below are what I have remained in my heart. My apologies to all if what I wrote down has make anyone disappointed, upset or even rage.)
Dear God, how can I stay focused in your presence, just to be with you, and to be close to You. Lord, I need You to be close to me. Why, am I so ungrateful? How can I still remain in bondage, after all the things that You have done to me. You hand-picked me up, washed me till I am clean by your precious blood, clothed me, and provide me. Lord, I want to thank you for all that you have done. But Lord, sometimes I still want to go back and wallow inside the pool of dirt. I am scared, and that the bondage is still holding me back on. After all these years, of struggling against it, had so many thoughts of wanting to quit it for good, but it soon come into my life. The thought of having that in a part of my life, changed the perception in my life. It is corrupting my mind. Having the thought is like taking a bottle of poison labeled "Natural Honey". Like drug, it always make me come back to it, till I am addicted to it. All those sights and sounds, they are ever so near to me. Lord, how can I stayed focused to your presence, remain in Your sight, and never want to leave. I realized that I had not been doing my own part, of wanting to see you each and every day. Am I complaining to you, or is it that I just need someone to give a response. Lord, help me to hear your still small voice. Your Word says that I am your sheep, and You are my Shepherd, and I know Your voice. Let it be done in my life. I know I have experienced that in my life, and that You are trying to tell me, about the ways to keep focus on You and You alone.
I am so tired of repeating the same process of over and over again. The cycle is somewhat like what was happened in the Book of Judges, of your people sinned against you, and were oppressed. And so, they cried it out to You, and You sent a representative to judge over them. Having those lustful desires really can kill my mind and corrupt it deeply inside my heart. It is troubling me to think that those desires can change your mindsets. I want to get it right. I want to think that females are created beings just like man, and that we stand equal to each other. Standing equal, we have the same rights and privileges to have honour and respect. Females too, deserved respect from others, dignity and acknowledgements and having the same things as men has it. Therefore, let us honour them as they are. Treat them like how you treat yourself. "Love your neighbours as yourself".
Treating a person as yourself, means that you need to respect, acknowledge, honour, love and to care for the person. Do not think of them as just another instrument or any other tool. Treat another person right. Love them, for the Lord has loved us.
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